PSA: Not Everyone is Going to be Happy For You
I’d been unemployed for about 8 months when I got hired at my current job. I was so excited when I got that call that I decided to call some friends to share my good news. One of my friends (who shall remain nameless) told me “I don’t know what you’re so happy about. That’s just another ‘Hire Me, Fire Me’ spot”. No “Good for You” …… No “Congratulations”. That was the first thing she thought to say. I’ve had other instances recently where I’ve been excited to share details about things that I’ve been working on with friends and I’ve been met with radio silence. I won’t lie and say that it doesn’t hurt my feelings a little bit. #ImHuman. The lesson here? NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE HAPPY FOR YOU. It’s a hard pill to swallow but it’s a reality sometimes. More importantly, you have to learn to be OK with that.
Before we pick this apart, I think it’s important to draw a distinction. There’s a difference between someone not being happy for you and someone just not sharing your level of excitement. It would stand to reason that they might not be as excited for you as you are for yourself if your news has little to no impact on their day to day life. It’s easy to perceive this as the person not being happy to you but that may not be the case. This doesn’t make that person a villain. However, if they can’t express some level of support, it is likely that this individual might just not be happy for you. Why might that be?
No Confidence in You- This person may have seen you start several things but not follow through on them. They may think that your new endeavor is just another to add to that list. Their lack of faith in you should not deter you from doing what you set out to. In fact, you should use their lack of faith as motivation to prove them wrong.
Jealousy- This person might be jealous of your ambition and/or your success. Another unfortunate reality is that some people just don’t want to see you happy. It could also be that they’re envious of how far you’ve come, and they know how far your potential can take you. They might also be jealous because, while you’re progressing, they’re stagnant. Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do to control the emotions of others. The best you can do is stay focused on achieving your goals, ignoring their negative energy.
Personal Issues- Their lack of excitement may have more to do with them than it has to do with you. A person who is unhappy with his/herself usually has a difficult time being happy for others. This is not necessarily out of malice; it might even be a subconscious thing. If you know this person to be in the midst of their own struggles, this could very well be the case. Don’t take it personally. Recognize that they are just working within the scope of their capability. This may be the best they can do.
The reason could be any one of these, a combination of these, or even a reason that I haven’t considered. Either way, you need to recognize that YOUR VICTORY IS FOR YOU. It feels great to know that the people in your circle are also in your corner cheering for you but ultimately, you do not need their validation. If you feel as though you do, you should reconsider your motivation. No one is obligated to be share in your joy. When met with negative reception, consider the source. When you expect more of a person than they’re capable of, you’re bound to be disappointed. Remain consistent and stay on track with your journey. Let your success speak for itself.
